子育て中、つい夫にイライラしてしまうことはありませんか？
子供中心で自分のことに時間をさけず、
出産前との生活にギャップを感じる毎日。
夫は仕事の飲み会に参加し、出産前となんら生活に変化なし…
どうして自分ばかり我慢しなければいけないのかと、
感じてしまう人も多いのではと思います。
そこで今回は、子育て中に夫にイライラしないで済む方法をお伝えしていきます。
なぜ夫にイライラしてしまうのかを考える
まず、なぜ夫にイライラしてしまうのかを考えてみます。
子育てをしていると、何もかも子供に振り回されてしまいますよね。
好きなものは食べられないし、好きな時にトイレさえいけないこともあります。
外出するときは、自分の荷物だけではなく、子供の荷物も大量に持たなくてはいけないし、
外出する場所も子供が行ってもいい場所かどうか、おむつが変えられる場所はあるか、
などと考えなくてはいけません。
また、お出かけ先も出産前まで行っていたおしゃれなカフェではなく、
ファミレスやフードコートなど子供が泣いても大丈夫な場所や、
キッズメニューがある場所を選ばなくてはなりません。
子供の相手はとても大変です。
話し出すまでは、何で泣いているか検討がつかないこともありますし、
話し出したら話し出したで、自我が芽生えてイヤイヤとわがままを言います。
片づけた先からどんどんおもちゃを出しますし、
少し目を離したらティッシュ箱の中身を全部出していた…なんてこともあります。
お昼寝をさせようと思ってもすんなり寝てくれないこともあります。
また、抱っこひもでやっと寝かしつけたと思って、
ベッドに置いたら起きてしまったという経験もあるはずです。
子供は可愛いですし大切です。
愛情もたっぷりありますが、育児へのストレスや自分への制限はすごく大きく、
出産前までの生活とのギャップは激しいですよね。
そんな中、夫は仕事へ行き、
お昼ご飯は自分のペースで食べられるでしょうし、
仕事相手は理性を持った大人です。
飲み会だって、出産前よりセーブはしているでしょうが、
子供のことを気にせずに参加することができます。
そしてなにより仕事にはお休みがあります。
子供がいるので、
完全に自由に休みということにはならないでしょうが、
仕事に関してはお休みになりますよね。
育児にはお休みなんてありません。
なんで自分はこんなにもたくさんのことを制限され、
我慢して毎日を生活しているのに、
夫は出産前と大きく変えることなく生活していて、
しかも子供の可愛い部分だけをつまんでおいしい思いをしているのか。
なんかずるい！！とつい思ってしまいますよね。
どうすればイライラしなくなるのか
まず１つは、夫に感謝する気持ちを持つことです。
どんなに不公平、ずるいと思っても、
夫が働いてくれているから自分と子供が生活できているのです。
自分だって働いているのに、
との思いや働こうと思えば働ける！という方もいらっしゃるでしょうが、
現在の生活水準を保てているのは、夫が働いてくれているからこそです。
仕事だって育児とは別のストレスがあります。
また、一家を支えているというプレッシャーもあるかもしれません。
出産後は、ホルモンバランスの乱れで気が立ってしまうこともあり、
つい冷静に考えることができなくなりますが、
まずは夫に感謝の気持ちを持ちましょう。
「１日お疲れ様」「いつもありがとう」
とこちらから言ってみると、
夫からも同様にねぎらいの言葉をかけてもらえるかもしれません。
疲れていることを分かってもらえれば、
育児中でこんなにうれしいことはありません。
でも、それは夫も一緒なのです。
仕事で疲れていることを、理解することが大切です。
２つ目は、自分１人の時間を確保させてもらいましょう。
夫が休みの日、
たまには１人でリフレッシュするために外出をさせてもらいます。
数か月行けてなかった美容院に行かせてもらったり、
たまには子供の服ではなくて自分の服を買いに出かけたり、
何をするでもなくゆっくりとカフェでおいしいスイーツを食べるのもいいですね。
１時間でも２時間でも、
子供と離れて自分の時間をもつと、
気分が開放的になりリフレッシュされてストレスが大幅に解消されます。
また、子供と少し距離を置くことで、
新鮮な気持ちで子供と接することもできます。
３つ目は、夫に過度な期待をしないことです。
世の中には、積極的に育児に参加し、
最初から完璧な父親になれる人もいますが、夫も父親初心者です。
- 「こうしてくれたらいいのに」
- 「なんであれをしてくれないの」
不満がたまっていくのも分かりますが、
不満をためるよりもできないことが当たり前で、
やってくれたら素晴らしいと感謝していく方が、
夫婦関係も円滑にすすみますし、自身のイライラも和らぎます。
また、期待をするとその期待通りの対応ができなかったとき、
よけいにイライラしてしまいます。
勝手に期待して裏切られ、
イライラしてしまっては、
子供にもいい影響はないですよね。
大きい子供を育てているという感覚で、
夫のことも立派な父親に育て上げるつもりで接すると、最初は大変ですが、
後々立派なイクメンとなってあなたを手助けしてくれるようになります。
まとめ
慣れない育児で日々大変な中、
無神経に見えてしまう夫の行動。
でも、深呼吸をして冷静になって
自分が一歩引くことで、
うまくいくことがたくさんあると思います。
夫を上手に育てながら、自分の時間も確保し、
夫婦で協力して、大切なわが子を育てていきましょう。
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